Underneath the Stars
by mrsmcclnt
Summary: A spiteful occurrence leads to a chance encounter and a complicated romance between one unlikely couple.
1. At First Glance

The stone got a few feet before it landed in the water. She had done this for a few minutes before she tired herself out.

It was one of those days for Lily. If it wasn't James Potter irking her by trying to act cool, it was Severus Snape fumbling over himself trying to rescue her from James.

She honestly didn't understand why they acted so immaturely, but she finally reached her limit after a dung bomb went off in the girls levorotary. She found out it was Sirius Black, who was trying to pull a prank on Moaning Myrtle.

"I thought you-"

"DO I LOOK LIKE A GHOST?" she shouted.

"Come to think of it, you look positively devilish when you're angry like that," Sirius replied with an evil smirk.

Those were the last words she heard as she pushed him out of her way. The stench in her robes had caused a few people to point and stare. So she retreated to the far side of the shore to get away from all laughs and looks.

As she sat on a boulder, she heard a strange sound from a nearby bush. With her wand ready, she pulled back a few branches and found a dog lying on the ground.

The dog gave a very pitiful look as it raised its paw to her. Lily was reluctant to touch the poor beast. But it edged to her, moaning sadly as it reached her foot.

"Mercy, it can't be that bad." She carefully took the animal's paw and looked around for whatever it was that was ailed it. But she couldn't find anything. "Did you prick your finger?"

The animal continued with its pitiful stare as Lily looked all over for the problem. Finally, she gave up and looked into the dogs eyes. "I can't find it, but I'm sure you be OK." She ruffled the dog's ears with her soft hands. She noticed how the dog's leg moved up and down as she rubbed his ears, so she did it a few more times and rubbed his underbelly since it made him feel better. The dog licked her hands in appreciation. She could tell that he looked eternally grateful to her.

But then, she noticed something familiar staring back at her.

"WHAT THE –"

Within moments she felt a heavy force push her over to her back. As she looked up, she saw Sirius' face staring down at her.

"I told you I was sorry! I didn't mean for it to be you!" he said quickly as he tried to hold her down.

"SO THIS IS YOUR WAY TO APOLIGIZE? TO PRETEND TO BE A DOG SO THAT I COULD BE NICE TO YOU?" she yelled as she struggled underneath him.

"Would you have it any other way?"

And his words caused her to stop. She looked at him and could see the eyes of the dog framed within the face of a man who looked very sorry.

She felt herself about to relent, but before she could respond…he kissed her…then ran off.

* * *

_His nails raked against her soft thighs. His hands trailed its way to the sweet spot at the small of her back._

_He knew he'd reached it as he felt her mouth open wider against his lips, allowing a moan to escape her body._

"_Eric! We shouldn't," she panted._

"_I can't keep watching you with him, Rose! I know he's my friend-"_

"_He's your best friend! –"_

"_I can't…" He was at lost for words as her perfume overwhelmed him_.

"Light reading?" He asked sarcastically. Lily was startled to hear Sirius

Black's voice from the stillness of the Library.

"Just studying," she said as she propped the huge book higher to conceal the novel. "Where's your musketeers or stooges?"

"Marauders: James, Remus, and Peter. They've gotten detention."

"And you didn't?" she asked.

"I was," he cleared his throat, "detained." Lily raised an eyebrow then turned back to her book. "You know she leaves him; Rose leaves Eric."

Lily looked shocked and angered, "What? Where you-"

"Eric was such a cad that she had no choice but to let him go," Sirius replied quickly. "As much as she was cheating on David with Eric, Eric was cheating on her with one of her girlfriends. But you couldn't actually call it cheating since they didn't have a commitment to each other anyways."

She was amazed to hear this from him. Yet she was more amazed that she was engaging him in this conversation, "So you don't think there is anything wrong with what Eric was doing behind his friend's back?"

"Rose didn't make her choice until after she caught Eric with Jessica. After that, she made the commitment to be with David. So before then, it was all fair in love and war."

She felt intrigued by his answer, "So then, would you steal a girl from one of your best friends?" Her eyes pried deep into his. But she felt a little uncomfortable as she saw that he was matching her gaze.

Silenced filled the conversation. Sirius made a sideway glance then looked back at Lily, "I'm not in a position to say. I would like to think not, but you never know. At the moment, no one has stepped forward to lay claim on Remus, Peter, or James," he winked at her as he said the last name, " and, " he paused even more as he consider his words carefully, "I have yet to met a girl yet who is as beautiful, strong, or as even tempered as you are." There was silence again as he kept his gaze on her. But before he left her table, he flicked his wand at her book, which caused the pages to turn. "Good day, Ms. Evans."

Loathing and curiosity mingled within her. As she turned back to her book she noticed that the story picked up at the height of a passionate love scene between Rose and Eric.

She felt herself blush.

* * *

His wide frame moved around the corner of his desk.

"OK class, let's settle down," he bellowed as he tried to bring calm to his room. "As you all remember, we've been discussing the different properties of Amortentia. Now we're going to try our hands at brewing some of this potion." A small burst of noise flooded the classroom. "BUT – before we get started, did anyone do the extra credit assignment that I handed out for today's lesson?"

Heads turned from left to right as everyone crained their necks to see who did the poetry assignment Slughorn gave.

_Ahem._

James Potter rose from his seat with subtle confidence. A few girls giggled as they looked towards his direction. Lily Evans rolled her eyes and went back to read her notes.

"Well Mr. Potter, you seem to be the only one who put in the extra effort. Would you mind, for an extra 10 points, if you could read your poem to the class?"

James tilted his head to his Professor as he accepted his task. His three friends all gave him a slap on the shoulder as a show of support. James unrolled his parchment as he walked towards the front of the class. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he began to read.

_To Wish_

_A thousand gems could not compare  
to the beauty behind your emerald eyes._

_Bliss should be redefined  
by the way your lips curl into a smile._

_If I could only have one wish  
it would be to be in your world  
the way nature is within yours._

_I'd wish to be the wind that touches your skin,  
the light that plays within your hair,  
the water that touches your sweet lips,  
or the ground that lies beneath you._

_Just to be with you is all I could ask.  
Cause within your grace, I feel most humbled._

There was a long moment of stunned silence before Professor Slughorn spoke. All eyes turned to Lily's direction, who shrunk in her seat as she felt the attention on her.

Slughorn rested his hand on the back of Lily's chair. "Well, my boy, that was most moving. It didn't quite rhyme like most poems would, but the deep profoundness of feeling was most riveting." His eyes motioned towards Lily, "I dare say, that girl must be very luck to be the object of your affections."

There was a little more commotion as everyone got ready for the lesson. Lily put down her notes to prepare. As she started the fire on her cauldron, she noticed an odd exchange between James and Sirius.

"Thank you," she saw James whisper to Sirius.

She thought it was rather strange until she caught the look in Sirius' eyes as he turned to her. He was caught off guard as he saw her looking back at him and turned away quickly.

But before he did, a humble smile crept across his face.


	2. At The Tower

She couldn't believe her eyes. For a moment, she thought she'd been hit by a confundus charm; the scene moved too slowly to actually be happening.

She saw the girl, arms fully extended, wrap herself around his neck. Then her face planted itself deep within his. Her lips locked to his mouth.

And, as if fate couldn't be even more cruel, Ihe/I saw her standing there as the girl ran up to kiss him. She saw him smile at her just before he plunged himself into the kiss.

Lily Evans witnessed James Potter kissing Abigail Stoughton. Her best friend.

She didn't know if it had been the kiss that angered her so or the embarrassment she had felt as everyone watched her reaction to it. There were other students there who had witnessed it too. Every Gryffindor was standing there as if some nuclear blast had pushed them to the sides. James, Abby, and Lily were left at the core of the explosion in the center of the Common Room.

IWhat does it matter! Why should I care who he kisses? It's not like I'm in love with him!/I

She looked into the night sky from the top Astronomy tower. The dark horizon looked as if it were blanketed with diamonds. She kept reminding herself that she didn't care. Yet the more she denied her anger, the more her chest twinged with pain.

"Are you all right?" came a hesitant voice from the shadows.

"Come to laugh some more at my expense?" She'd recognized Sirius Black's voice from the darkness.

He stepped out slowly from the corner of the parapet, "I didn't come here to laugh at you."

"Really? You wanted to see me cry then?" her tone filled with mock amusement.

His tone remained steady, "I didn't know you had been crying."

"Well, I haven't been. So I'm sorry to disappoint you." She turned her attention back to star gazing. Everything was a little distorted from the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

After a few long moments she noticed that he was still there, "What, Sirius?"

"Nothing. I normally come here."

"Why? For some snogging sessions?"

He snickered a little under his breath, which he knew would cause Lily's temper to flare up, "No, I –"

"WHAT?"

"I LIKE LOOKING AT THE STARS! " he said finally. "They remind me of home… or what use to feel like home." He could see her anger subsiding, so he felt safe enough to explain. "Most of my family is named after stars. So it's like I'm looking at home whenever I look into the night." He pointed nonchalantly toward the heavens. "Sirius, of course. Andromeda." He paused for a moment, swallowed hard, and managed "Regulus," in an oddly strangled voice. Lily sat very still, shocked and embarrassed at his sadness. This was Sirius Black, Potter's oldest, and most annoying friend. So why was she feeling sorry for him?

There was a long silence as Lily stood there brooding in the dark. "You know it wasn't his fault," Sirius managed after a time.

Lily snorted. "So James just slipped and fell onto Abby's mouth?"

Sirius inhaled sharply as he tried to hold back his laugh, "Come on, Evans. Surely you could see how she forced herself on him? James didn't have time to dodge her advances."

Lily rolled her eyes at his comment, "Even if that were true, I didn't see him fending her off. He must have wanted it to happen. He's been all over her for weeks."

Lily remembered when she saw them whispering in the corner of the Library. Then she saw James passing notes to Abby all during potions class. She'd thought that James was trying to get to her, as usual, until Abby asked her at lunch if she would mind if she went out with James.

_"Why should I care what you do with him?"_ Lily had said. Next thing she knew, James and Abby were arm and arm as they walked into class.

Then the kiss happened.

"Oh, come off it! James has been chasing you since our first year. If you'd stop running from him, then you could see that."

Lily threw her hands up, "So where is he now? After what happened, you'd think he'd want to explain! But I don't see him bursting in apologizing!"

Sirius gave a low sigh of defeat as he walked over to the edge, " He may not know where you are."

"Or maybe he's –"

"Maybe he's too scared to talk to you right now," Sirius interjected in defense for his friend. Lily went back to staring at the sky. "Let's face it, when you're angry you get pretty scary."

"You don't seem scared of me," she said.

"That's different."

"How so? I've seen the way you look at me. You and James almost share the same expression." Sirius smiled as he kept his eyes on the stars. "It's that same one you have right now."

"It's still different," he said. He heard her huff in protest, but kept his eyes firmly glued to the sky, "I'm always going to look at you Lily. That's all I can do is look. It's my nature to look."

"You don't want to kiss me then?" she whispered in his ear.

"Huh?" A lump suddenly developed in his throat. He turned to Lily to see that she looked different.

"I can see why the girls giggle when you pass by or why they scribble your name next to theirs." Her face was so close to his that he caught a hint of mint on her breath. "And I know that when you're looking at me, you want more than just to look."

Sirius turned away from her and nervously looked back to the night, "That's rubbish. I'm always looking at girls. That's just what I do. You're no different from any other skirt that I've chased."

"Fine. Then kiss me."

"What?" Sirius was shocked by her forwardness.

"If I'm so indifferent then you should feel nothing when you kiss me," she told him plainly.

"But-"

"You don't want to?" Lily asked.

"No-it's-just-"

"Then kiss me, you-"

He felt foolish but he couldn't pass up the chance. His hands cupped her face as he firmly pressed his lips against hers. He held his ground for a few seconds then stood back to look at her expression that rested in his hands.

He expected a hell storm of curse words and flying fist as soon as he released her lips. It would have been well worth it, but he couldn't help but feel concerned as he stared back into her eyes. To his surprise, Lily's characteristic anger wasn't there. Instead, he got a taste of something that he didn't see coming.

Lily reached for him and pulled him back into the kiss.

It started slowly as each tried to get a feel for each other's style of passion. Sirius tenderly nipped at her lips, savoring the sweetness from her mouth. Lily gingerly stroked his cheeks, marveling at the contrast of her soft hands against his razor stubble.

The kiss increased in intensity as Lily pressed herself against Sirius' body. Her fingers rushed though his hair, forcing Sirius to go deeper with his kiss. His hands traced up and down her back like a cellist playing his instrument.

Finally the heat of the moment overwhelmed them as Sirius backed her into a corner, hoisted her into the air while keeping her firm against the wall. He never felt so warm in all his life. His ears were throbbing from all the blood rushing too it. He could feel Lily's pulse racing as his mouth reached the soft bareness of her neck. He felt her being more receptive to him as one of his hands reached the back of her leg to gain more leverage.

Lily felt so alive. No one had kissed her the way Sirius had. All the hurt and embarrassment ebbed away with each caress his lips gave. She was happy and somewhat pleased with herself in a slightly devious way.

_IHow do you like that! _She thought as she gently nibbled at Sirius' ear. She ignored the little voice in her head that wondered if she was enjoying this solely because James would be hurt by it.

Then the door to the tower swung open as a dark figure moved over to the edge. "Sirius!" whispered a voice. The person couldn't see the two figures huddled in a passionate embrace. Sirius, however, knew that voice all too well and moved into the moonlight, leaving Lily in the shadows. "Sirius where are you?"

"James," he answered his friend.

"I've been looking for you! I've looked everywhere, but I can't find Lily! So I came looking for you cause… CAUSE I CAN'T FIND HER!" James ran his hands irritably through his hair. "DAMN IT! How could this happen!"

Lily shrunk back, cloaking herself into the darkness. Sirius could tell that she was hiding but still listening to their conversation. "I'm sure she's not far."

James looked like a nervous moth flittering back and forth from on side to other, "How did this go wrong! I was smiling, as usual, when I saw Lily come into the Common Room. Next thing I knew, I was getting the Dementor's kiss from Abby!! The girl just won't stop! And I tried to be nice to her about it, but she kept saying that she'd tell Lily how big an ass I was if I don't play nice. Lily barely stands me as is, I can't afford for her hate me cause I was being mean to her friend!"

Sirius snuck a sideways glance to the corner Lily was hiding in. He could see her surprised reaction to James' words. "So Abby coerced you into being friends with her?" Sirius said.

"I don't know if 'coerced' is the right word for it. I didn't get a chance to disagree. Did you see how she latched herself to me in Potions class?" James looked down at his arm with such disgust that Lily half expected to see some contagious, deadly rash or at least thousands of leeches in place of flesh. "My Godric! I'd rather be hexed a thousand times then to be linked with her!" James finally stopped to look up to the stars. He stood perfectly still, but, even cloaked in the moonlight, Lily could see that he was shaking. "I don't know what I'm going do!"

Sirius stepped forward and put his hand on James' shoulder, "The truth will come out eventually. Just give her some time."

James' bitter laugh echoed oddly into the dark night. "But that's the thing, Pads; she'll have all the time in the world, cause she'll never speak to me again."

James and Sirius stood there silently as Lily watched. The trust between those two was palpable. She could see how James relied on his friend and Sirius was genuinely concerned for him. It made her wish that she had friends like that.

Several moments passed in utter silence before James seemed to start from his reveries. He looked around and then back at Sirius. "What are you doing up here, anyways?"

His friend blushed, feeling a little awkward as he remembered that he wasn't alone. "I was just-"

Lily stepped backward into the shadows, rolling awkwardly over an unseen rock in her haste to hide. The noise caused both boys to turn in her direction.

"Ah, mate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you with my problems," James said as he eyed the dark silhouette in the corner.

"No, no. It's no problem," Sirius said, glad that the night was particularly dark.

"No. You have your private time. I shouldn't have intruded."

"Its no intrusion," Sirius interrupted earnestly, "you're my friend." Guilt seared his insides as he looked into James' eyes. He could see how much James was hurting from what happened to him in the dorm. Sirius knew he'd be even more hurt if he knew who was standing in the corner…and why.

"Thanks. It's just I didn't know what to do and you're the only one I feel comfortable talking to about it. You know… " James' voice trembled awkwardly, and he paused a moment before he tried again. "You know how much I love her."

Lily was stunned. She thought her heart would stop as her brain worked furiously to understand everything. He wasn't into Abby. James was just being a gentleman so Abby wouldn't tell her that he was an evil prat.

She watched, still unbelieving, as the two shook hands. Then James headed back to the dorm, leaving Sirius and Lily alone once more.

Sirius looked back at the night sky, standing in the same position he had been when their little tryst began. Lily walked hesitantly up to stand next to him. Some time had elapsed before either spoke.

"I'm sorry." It seemed completely disproportionate, but there were no words for her guilt.

"There's no need to apologize," Sirius responded somewhat briskly. "I suppose it was meant to happen this way instead of some other sordid mess." They both shook their head in agreement. "Besides, I could tell it wasn't me you were kissing."

Lily gave him a startled look, "And you kissed and carried on with me anyways?"

"Of course," Sirius said flatly. "To kiss you, Lily Evans, is like breaking out of Azkaban or stealing gold from Gringotts." Lily looked confused by his statement. He smiled as he continued, "You'd be a fool to try it, but if the opportunity comes, you'll only have one shot. So you have to give it your best, cause it may never happen again." Lily blushed, flattered by the comparison. She saw the way his eyes sparkled liked the stars as he smiled to her. She couldn't help but to smile back at him.

"You know, if you'd be as honest with yourself as you are with everyone else, maybe you'd understand why you kissed me the way you did," Sirius told her.

Lily turned away from him and looked back at the night, "You're only saying that cause you want me to be with James."

Sirius turned her around to face him, "I want you to be happy. You deserve a man who could love you so much that he would be willing to die for you. And James is more then willing to do so if you have him."

"But you wouldn't?"

Again, his eyes sparkled, but there was a sadness there that gave her the answer without any words. "I am not a man without feeling. A fool like me would be lucky to call you his. But I'm too set in my bachelor ways to be tied to someone. And sometimes my ways can inadvertently hurt the innocent. Just ask Abby."

Lily's mouth almost fell open in shock. As much as she bad-mouthed Sirius, Lily never would have guessed that Abby was seeing him.

_Maybe she used James like I was using Sirius._

Sirius turned her around and pointed to another star. "Orion. Maybe one day, when I feel more settled, I'll find a girl like you and introduce her to my father and tell him that this is the woman that I love. And hopefully, if enough time has passed, his pureblood views would be a little more lenient and he'll be able to love her like I will."

She turned back to him and was greeted with that same genuine emotion in his eyes, "But until then, Lily, I'm prepared to defend your honor and protect your children until the day I die."

"Even if they're not James'?"

"Well, as long as it's not Snivels," he answered, boyish grin slowly returning. They both laughed, neither willing to acknowledge the enormity of that promise. Lily chanced one more glance at him, and saw that he was looking back at her with the same humble smile he'd greeted her with every school year.

She felt his hands wrap around her waist as he pulled her in close to him. She felt the heat from his lips as he drew closer to her. But before she could feel that warmth, again, she raised her hand to his lips to stop him. "You've had your one shot, remember?" she whispered.

He looked at her and smiled, eyes still reflecting the stars in the night sky.

"I remember, Ms. Evans. And I'll never forget it."


	3. What's Done In The Dark

"I forget again. Why am I doing this?"

"You have a way with words… and with women," cheered James as they walked down to the lake. Sirius felt a little burden with the amount of confidence James was giving him. With any other woman he would step up to the challenge. But with Lily, after that night at the tower, he would rather crawl out of existence.

James yanked Sirius next to a tree. He pulled out an old hearing aid that he took from his Uncle. He instructed Sirius to perform the charm, to which he said the words then tapped the small device.

"OK. You should be able to hear our conversation. You'll just say what I need to say through your wand, and I'll hear you from the earpiece."

Sirius heaved a sigh as he shook his head, "Are you sure this is will work? I mean, what if she catches you? I just think if you spoke from your heart, she'll appreciate it more then it coming from me-"

"Sirius, come on! You saw the way I struggle with that poem to her. And after what happened, I don't think I can find the right words to – SHE'S COMING!"

James pushed Sirius out of sight then casually leaned up against the tree. Lily looked over and gave James a faint smile as she walked to the edge of the lake. James stood there, unable to move from his spot. But Sirius motioned him to move in her direction.

_"_THIS IS YOUR PLAN REMEMBER!" He mouthed to James.

James stepped a few feet towards her then stopped. Lily just sat on the boulder, watching the sun set over the water.

"How are you?" Sirius relayed in his wand.

"I'm fine," whispered James.

"Bloody hell, James! ASK _HER_ HOW SHE IS!"

James tentatively looked at her as he tried to make a sentence, "How are you, Lily?"

"James, I…I don't feel like talking right now."

James held a very dejected looked while trying to respond.

"I understand," Sirius said through is wand. James said the same back to her. "One day I hope you'll understand what really happened."

"I know, James. I just have a lot to think about right now."

James held his rejected stare, "I understand," he mumbled to her.

"But I want you to know," Sirius prompted, "that I'd never meant to hurt you nor would I mean to. Remember the poem, Lily? All I want is to be with you. And as I humbly stand here next to you, all I can do is hope that your heart hears me."

As James relayed the message he was almost at a lost for words. He never realized how moving Sirius' words could be.

"Even now, I envy the moon making for your skin glow and how it touches your sweet licorice lips."

Something stuck James very hard at those last words. As he watched Lily walk away, he noticed something familiar in her dark silhouette.

* * *

Tension consumed the shrieking shack.

Two boys stood between two friends who stood quietly, looking back and forth with apprehension.

"You love her."

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THE TRUTH!"

"BUT YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION!"

"WHAT?"

"DO YOU LOVE HER? ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH LILY?"

Sirius paced around the room rubbing the side of his face that James had struck. "I have FEELINGS for her! Damn, James, is it a crime to have FEELINGS? Hell most of the guys at school have these feelings!! Even some of the Professors!"

James gave an exasperated moan, "THERE YOU GO AGAIN AVOIDING THE QUESTION!"

"IT'S THE TRUTH!"

"ITS NOT THE POINT, SIRIUS!" James finally corned him while the other two, Remus and Peter, tried holding him back. "Don't you think I know what the other guys think? Don't you think I'm aware?"

"SO WHATS YOUR FUCKING POINT!"

"THE FUCKING POINT IS YOU! You and these FEELINGS - AND DON'T PASS THEM OFF TO ME LIKE THERE NOTHING! The poem, your words, everything!! HOW COULD I'VE BEEN SO BLIND!"

More silence as the tension mounted.

"James you're like a brother to me. And that's saying a lot considering the brother I have."

"Don't-"

"It's true! I have feelings for her, yes, but who doesn't? The point is I would never let those feeling come to hurt our friendship…our brotherhood."

"Then answer me."

"What?"

"Do…you…love…her?"

Sirius looked nervous as he tried to reply to his friend, "There just feeling, James. Nothing more."

James looked at him, determined to get to the root of those feelings. He reached into his pocket then threw Sirius a small green bottle. "Take this."

Sirius examined the bottle, "What's this?"

"Veritiserum," James replied coldly. Remus and Peter exchanged surprised looks.

"Where did you get this?" asked Sirius.

"We're Marauders. It's not like we've never snuck around and took things before."

"But _this? _Did you want me to drink this?

"I need a DIRECT answer to my question. How else can I trust you unless you are honest with me?"

They stared at each other for a few long moments. Finally, Sirius took a swig from the bottle. He felt he had no choice. He couldn't loose his best friend and yet he couldn't avoid the situation.

His stomach curled as the potion settled. He didn't know if it was because he was fighting the truth or fighting James, but he felt a disturbing sensation his core.

"Do you love her?"

He sweated as he answered, "I fancy her, she gorgeous. But love is something too deep right now."

"But is it deep enough for you to feel it?" James seethed as his eyes narrowed down on his friend.

More sweat fell. His mind raced as he fought the answer that threatened to escape him. His stomach twisted in knots, "Not as deep as your feelings for her. Not as deep as our friendship, James."

Sirius fell to his knees as his stomach spasm. He clenched his sides as he moaned in pain. Remus and Peter rushed to him as James stood dumbfounded by his words.

"Isn't this enough! He's told you what you needed to the know!" Remus protested.

James looked as if he had snapped out of dream as Remus shouted at him. James helped them bring Sirius to his feet.

"Let's take him to the clinic. Madam Pompfrey will set him right."

"But the potion?" Remus replied nervously.

James gave a remorseful smile "I gave him castor oil."

* * *

His eyes slowly opened. His vision was slightly blurry as he tried to focus on his surroundings. He thought he was alone, since no one was in the room…or so he thought.

"How are you feeling?" came an angelic voice. He couldn't see her at first. But then her bright green eyes appeared, perfectly matched with her beautiful smile.

"Sweet mercy, I've made it into paradise!" he groaned.

"Not likely," Lily snickered as she sat upon his bed. Sirius tried to move to sit properly, but his insides jolted him to lie back down. "Take it easy."

"What happened to me?"

"Madam Pomfrey said that James and Remus brought you in. It looked like you were in a fight." Lily propped up his pillows to make him more comfortable. But from the expression on her face, she looked as if she needed the comfort. "Were you fighting?"

Sirius' mind recalled the answer. His eyes dodged hers to cover the truth, "No, no. It was nothing."

"Really? Cause I overheard James and Remus talking about what had happened at the Shrieking Shack." Sirius could hear Lily exhaling deeply. "I didn't mean for this to happen – you and James."

"Look," Sirius forced himself up, ignoring the jabs of pain in his stomach, "regardless of what you've heard, it wasn't that bad. James and I will get through this and we will still be friends."

"Yet still, if we hadn't -"

"Don't!" He raised his hand to stop the words from her mouth. "Don't take it back," his tone pleaded with her. "What happened that night happened. And if you take that kiss back now…then I'd have to stop believing in love." He lay back down like a man defeated from a long drawn out fight. The pain at his sides was too much. But not as much as the pain that throbbed within his heart.

"I don't want to be 'that girl' that broke a friendship. I don't want to be fought over like some prized trophy."

"Yet you are so worthy," he said plainly. "You deserve someone who'd fall at your feet and fight to be at your side," he smiled. "You deserve a love that's unconditional and somewhat uncontrollable in a passionate sense. You deserve –"

"You?" Her eyes looked deep within his as she finished his sentence. They sat in silence, holding each other's gaze. He knew she was right. He could be that man. But at what cost to his friendship?

Ignoring the pain yet following his heart's desire, he pulled her into his embrace. Lily protested a little, but she found herself accepting his advances as she met him with a kiss.

But before it got any further; the sound of falling beads interrupted them.

"What was that?" Lily asked nervously.

Sirius looked to where the noise was and found jellybeans along the floor. He picked up one and tasted it. From the flavor, he knew whom they had come from.

"James."

"James?" Sirius whispered loudly in the dark hospital ward.

"You two kissed before?" came his voice, but neither Sirius nor Lily could see where it came from. James stayed hidden underneath his cloak.

"It's not what it seems!" Sirius pleaded.

"But you two kissed… _before_?"

"Yes," sighed Sirius.

"When?"

Sirius and Lily looked nervously to each other. Both were reluctant to respond to the question, yet they knew they had to. "That night when I saw you kissing Abigail in the common room."

"I don't understand?" It was evident in his tone that James didn't comprehend what Lily had just said.

"At the tower," Sirius calmly added to give clarity to her statement. There was a long moment of silence within the darkness. However, Sirius and Lily could hear their hearts beating wildly within their ears.

Finally, James spoke up with a slight strain in is voice.

"You were the figure in the corner. The shadow in the darkness." His words rolled out slowly as he finally recognized the situation.

"Yes," Lily replied meekly.

"James, please!"

"NO, SIRIUS! What is there to understand? You've kissed her before- you were just kissing her now! EXCEPT THIS TIME I SAW IT FOR MYSELF!" The heat from his anger could be felt from all around. But they could not see the tormented expression written across his face. "You've wanted her all along! You watched as I tried to win her heart, but you secretly wished that I didn't succeed!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Sirius replied angrily to his accusations.

"ISN'T IT? You set me up from the beginning with the poetry, the love letters, and your words! Everything! It was all working according to your plan!"

"YOU CAME TO ME FOR THAT, JAMES! I was trying to help you!" Sirius shouted.

"MORE LIKE YOU WERE HELPING ME TO FAIL!"

"ENOUGH!" Lily raised her voice. "No one was going behind your back, plotting your downfall! It wasn't like that! It's not like that at all!"

"Then what is it like, Lily? Do you want to be with Sirius?" James asked the question that she hadn't been prepared to answer. But James felt, from her lack of words, where her heart wanted to be. "Never mind! I can see where this is going!"

"NO! WAIT! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Lily pleaded.

Her mind was able to focus on his voice and zoned into his location. She reached out and caught a piece of his cloak. But she wasn't able to hold onto him. She watched his back as he ran away from her sight.


End file.
